Shame, words, and the power of silence.

AHA'S AND ACTION:

Here are 2 thoughts, 2 inspirations, and 1 question for you to reflect on this week…

2 THOUGHTS FROM ME

1. 20 years ago, I transitioned through divorce, and I can remember feeling so ashamed of my failed marriage that I was scared to go out and mow my lawn for fear that a neighbor would see me and ask about my husband. My shame was literally paralyzing me.

Eventually, I started talking to my neighbors and I was embraced with warm hugs, offers to come for dinner, and many kind words. 

I know from experience that shame spreads like a deadly virus when left in the silence of my mind and it magically shrinks away when I open up and talk to someone about it.

2. Kind words from another person have changed my life. Just as kind words to myself have.

2 INSPIRATIONS FROM OTHER PEOPLE

1. “Shame derives its power from being unspeakable. That's why it loves perfectionists - it's so easy to keep us quiet.” 

“shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot tolerate having words wrapped around it. What it craves is secrecy, silence, and judgment.” by Brené Brown.

2. “Shame is the most disturbing experience individuals ever have about themselves; no other emotion feels more deeply disturbing because, in the moment of shame, the self feels wounded from within.” by Sylvan Tomkins.

1 QUESTION FOR YOU

1. What am I ashamed of? What makes me feel flawed or inadequate? Who can I share this with?

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